I get it. You’re annoyed that your jeans are feeling tight at the waist. You haven’t worn that dress since two babies ago. You’re really tired of feeling like carrying the Costco boxes from your car to the garage is a monumental task.

But wouldn’t it be vain to want to look better? To feel better? Aren’t we not supposed to care about outward appearance?

In some ways, yes. But I think there’s an important distinction to make: there’s a difference between finding our identity in how we look and desiring to feel confident in our bodies.

Wanting to change your body isn’t inherently vain. Wanting to lose weight, gain muscle, feel stronger, or fit into that dress again doesn’t mean you believe you are only worthy of love if your body changes.

The question is: Why?

Anything good can become disordered when we make it the ultimate thing. Our bodies are good. They are gifts. But a good thing can become an idol when we begin to look to it for something only God can give us—our identity, our worth, our security, or our happiness.

Whether you are just beginning your workout journey or you’re several years in, I think we constantly have to check ourselves on the reason behind why we’re doing what we’re doing.

Maybe you’re in the gym to lose weight, gain muscle, improve your health, or simply feel stronger. None of those goals are inherently bad. And meeting those goals may mean having the fortitude to push through discomfort and the temperance to nourish your body well.

And yes, one of the fruits of those disciplines may be that you like how you look in the mirror a little more. Maybe you finally feel excited to wear that dress again. Maybe your clothes fit differently. Those things aren’t bad!

But they aren't the end-all-be-all of why we take care of ourselves.

We take care of our bodies because they are a gift. We’re body and soul. We want a body that can love and serve to its fullest capacity.

So, if you find yourself worrying that your fitness journey is going to lead to vanity, here are a few ways you can take care of yourself without making your body an idol.

1. Get really clear on your “why.”

Take some time to journal about why you want to take care of your body. Write it down.

Maybe your reason is to have more energy to play with your kids. Maybe it's to feel strong and capable at work. Maybe you want to improve your health or be able to keep up with the activities you love.

Your “why” doesn't have to be super spiritual. You just want to be honest about what is motivating you and make sure that the main reason isn’t because you think your body needs to change in order for you to be loved.

2. Focus on objective goals.

Give yourself goals that aren't completely dependent on what you see in the mirror.

Work toward going from two push-ups to five. Try to shave time off your mile. Work toward a heavier squat, getting your first pull-up, or just committing to three workouts a week.

You can still have aesthetic goals. But when every goal ties back to how you look, that’s where we step into muddy waters.

3. Write down your wins each week.

The scale or mirror aren’t the only places to look for evidence of progress.

Write down your wins:

• My lifts felt stronger when I stuck to my nutrition plan.
• I’m down 0.5 lb.
• I worked out all three days like I said I would.
• I slept better this week.
• I increased my weight on a lift.
• I cooked a meal with protein and vegetables even when I was tired.
• I played outside with my kids and didn't feel completely exhausted.

Some of these wins may change your appearance. Some won't. They're all worth celebrating.

4. When you feel the urge to compare or fall into despair, pray.

Comparison can turn something good into something disordered very quickly.

When you catch yourself spiraling because you don't look like someone else, or because your body isn't changing as quickly as you'd hoped, bring it to the Lord.

Ask Him to remove the vain desires from your heart. Ask Him to help you see yourself the way He sees you. And thank Him for the body He has given you—a body that can move, work, play, serve, and love.

With these things in mind, you really can “have your cake and eat it too.” You don’t have to avoid taking care of yourself just because you’re worried about becoming vain. You can train, nourish your body, take care of it well, and enjoy the fruits of your hard work. Some of those fruits might be aesthetic. You might like the way you look a little more. And that’s okay!

Just don’t forget about all the other fruits that come from that work, too. The fortitude it takes to push through a hard workout. The temperance it takes to nourish your body well. The confidence that comes from doing something you once thought you couldn’t do. The ability to keep your word not just to yourself, but to the people who depend on you. The ability to serve, and to serve well.

Our bodies will never be able to give us everything our hearts desire. They were never meant to. Only God can do that.

But that doesn’t mean we should neglect the body He gave us. Let’s care for it, challenge it and be grateful for all that it does. 

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