How do you Follow God's Will?

This is a bit of a pivot from the normal blog posts we write. We will not be talking about exercise, nutrition, or the virtues related to physical training. Instead, we are going to take a moment to discuss something far more important:

How do I know I am doing God’s will?

The first thing I will admit is that I am not a spiritual theologian like Dr. Anthony Lilles or Dan Burke. I do not have a doctorate in anything. What follows are my personal reflections, but ones that I sincerely believe are rooted in the Church, Sacred Scripture, and the saints.

The reason I wanted to write this is because of a conversation I had at my men’s group this past Wednesday. We watched a video and then dove into small group discussion. During that discussion, a couple of the men admitted that they had no idea how to “know” whether they were doing God’s will.

I found that heartbreaking.

Scripture tells us plainly: “This is the will of God, your sanctification” (1 Thessalonians 4:3). But how does that play out in daily decisions? In career choices? In fatherhood? In suffering? In the ordinary rhythm of Tuesday afternoon?

The analogy I shared with the group is rooted in the Song of Songs, the Gospel of John, and the theology of St. John of the Cross. It is the analogy of Lover and beloved.

In the Song of Songs we read, “I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine” (Song of Songs 6:3). Christianity is not first about rule-following. It is about communion. It is about belonging.

My wife and I have known each other for eleven years. We have been together almost that long and have been married for eight. We have gone on countless dates, had thousands of conversations both lighthearted and profound, and shared our hearts and lives with one another.

Through that experiential knowledge (and that term is important) I now know my wife more deeply than anyone else. Perhaps her parents know more historical facts about her childhood. Maybe a childhood friend remembers stories I never heard. But facts are not the same as intimacy. Facts are shadows compared to lived communion.

Because of the experiential knowledge I have of my wife’s heart, knowledge formed through experience, conversation, sacrifice, forgiveness, and time, I can usually anticipate how she would respond to a situation. I often know what she prefers. I can discern what would bring her peace or what might hurt her.

And this is only after eleven years. I cannot imagine the depth of knowledge we will share after twenty, forty, or fifty.

Analogously, I believe this is the primary way we come to know the will of God in both the little and the big moments of our day.

We, like St. John the Beloved at the Last Supper, must lean against His Sacred Heart (John 13:23). We must learn the rhythm of His heartbeat. We must listen.

Jesus Himself says, “I am the good shepherd. I know my own and my own know me” (John 10:14). And again, “My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me” (John 10:27).

Notice the language: know, hear, follow. This is relational.

The Catechism reminds us that prayer is “the living relationship of the children of God with their Father who is good beyond measure” (CCC 2565). It is not merely reciting formulas. It is relationship.

We come to know His will the same way we come to know anyone’s will: by spending time with Him.

This knowledge must go beyond memorizing theological propositions, though doctrine matters deeply. The Catechism teaches that faith is “a personal adherence of man to God” (CCC 150). It is not only assent to truths but entrusting oneself to a Person.

We must learn from Him in His Word. “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path” (Psalm 119:105). We must receive Him in the Eucharist, where Christ is “truly, really, and substantially” present (CCC 1374). We must run back to Him in Confession, where “the whole power of the sacrament of Penance consists in restoring us to God’s grace and joining us with him in an intimate friendship” (CCC 1468).

Over time, and it does take time, this lived communion forms our conscience. The Catechism says that conscience is “a judgment of reason whereby the human person recognizes the moral quality of a concrete act” (CCC 1778). But conscience must be formed. It is shaped by Scripture, the teachings of the Church, prayer, and habitual obedience.

Does this happen overnight?

Of course not.

But it will never happen unless you commit to being the beloved of the Lover.

Union with Christ is not automatic. It requires fidelity. It requires presence. It requires what many saints called “wasting time” with God; time in adoration, time in silence, time in the prayer corner of your home.

St. John of the Cross wrote that at the evening of life we will be judged on love. Love is learned through proximity.

As we grow in that proximity, our will slowly conforms to His. “Be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect” (Romans 12:2).

Notice that discernment flows from transformation. And transformation flows from communion.

When you mess up, and you will, sprint to His Divine Mercy. “Where sin increased, grace abounded all the more” (Romans 5:20). Growth in holiness is not the absence of failure. It is rapid return.

So here are four practical commitments if you want to grow in knowing whether you are doing God’s will:

1. Spend time with Him every day in prayer. Dive into Scripture. Cling to Him in the Sacraments. “Pray without ceasing” (1 Thessalonians 5:17).

2. Know the teachings of His Church. The Church is “the pillar and bulwark of the truth” (1 Timothy 3:15). The moral teachings of the Church keep us in the right lane in matters of faith and morals.

3. Examine your day each night. Thank God for His mercy. Seek pardon for your sins. The Catechism recommends daily examination of conscience as a way of forming moral sensitivity (see CCC 1454).

4. Find a good spiritual director who loves the Lord and His Church to help you discern major life decisions. “In an abundance of counselors there is safety” (Proverbs 11:14).

The will of God is not a hidden code meant to frustrate you. It is the loving invitation of a Father who desires your sanctification and your peace. As the Catechism beautifully states, “God created man to share in his own blessed life” (CCC 1).

The more you know His heart, the more clearly you will recognize His voice.

I am praying for each of you. Please pray for me as well.

Let us pray with our patron, Pope St. John Paul II:

“O God, You are our Creator. You are good and Your mercy knows no bounds. To You arises the praise of every creature. O God, You have given us an inner law by which we must live. To do Your will is our task. To follow Your ways is to know peace of heart. To You we offer our homage.

Guide us on all the paths we travel upon this earth. Free us from all the evil tendencies which lead our hearts away from Your will. Never allow us to stray from You.

O God, judge of all humanity, help us to be included among Your chosen ones on the last day.

O God, Author of peace and justice, give us true joy and authentic love, and a lasting solidarity among peoples. Give us Your everlasting gifts. Amen.”